What is Love? How I see it, How I show it

October 26, 2015 (18:00)

     This day has been a day of cancelled plans, in the morning plans of working on the thesis got rescheduled. Plans on having an overnight to aid another thesis group was canceled and during lunchtime I was craving for a "sashimi" and I was planning to buy at the local store and yes you are correct it didn't happen. The only thing that has happened is me having a sleep it was an unplanned action, so much like love.

     I just woke up it's about 6:00 pm from where I'm from and just decided to blog about love. I was thinking about that topic since Saturday evening and maybe to ease and have peace with that thought I'm going to write my opinions about love. Without further ado I will start.

     First is definition, I don't really know and I don't see any correct definition, but according to Wikipedia it is : a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection ("I love my mother") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment I don't really believe in this long convincing definition, if love was made from a variety of feeling then what is love as a feeling. All in all I do not believe in this. For me love has rich meaning from it's lack of meaning. Only living things can define it, it is like when flowers bloom in a different season and animals on how they raise their offspring. Nigh understandable at all times, not only pleasure nor only hurt. No definition but meaningful to feel and live for.

       How long does it last? It depends when you see it on a romantic way but for me it lasts a lifetime. Yes a lifetime, I was given a blessed opportunity to witness some of my grandparents live until their deaths but I don't find them senile when it comes to feelings. Even when their memory seems jammed signs of love shows. They remember experiences, memories, and people they may not be exact on names, dates or places. The things they mostly say at their twilight reflects on two things memories of love and loss. They also recount losses because aside from love it was also a strong feeling/experience. I admit they call it scientifically as Alzheimer's disease but I think it is much better to send them off thinking of them as "my brave grandpa/grandma who dared to live and love" rather than, "my sick grandpa/grandma with Alzheimer's".

      I even read a book that said to love is always a first feeling you don't really feel the same love with others, and anything that is first is hardwired in the brain. Love is timeless, no not that traditional quote but for me love is time-less. Ever since I first loved somebody else aside from family I always said to myself and even said to her that "love is timeless". That love is never measured by time nor affected by it. to feel love is to exclude the numbers of the clock and the calendar. There is no expiration to love as I believed. I will always love the person I loved, that's why I am having difficulties to move on and forgetting. 

     As I observed and interacted with people in my life I learned that when love is hard to forget it's either the love is true or their virginity was taken by that previous lover or a combination of both. My advise on that is don't forget love, those memories someday might build you up if you focus on the positive things while reminiscing it. I think it is not infidelity if you just remembered, there will always be some traces the things I find wrong is the act of cheating and adulterous thoughts. Sometimes trying to forget will just destroy you and lastly never chase unless you are desperate. On my part I loved many, and on those failed love I remember the sweet things not those days that  caused me the greatest hurt (On occasionally drunk days I do remember the hurt). To tell the truth some of my failed relationship(friendship/courtship in particular, NGSB by the way) with people was because of my belief that love is timeless, I loved them but I did not love them in a way that is understandable by many and in the end it was all misunderstood. 

    Partly I think that they see me not giving them the right amount of time. Nowadays living around in a mostly stereotypical community the people are becoming very demanding of time when it comes to relationship just five minutes without a reply on a text message doubt will already overcome. Say goodnight early and you are already worthless. Society is becoming demanding of dialogue when it comes to love,  but for me a moment of quietness together can make your love much stronger than talking with each other.

      How can we show our love on the romantic side? There are many ways, many unique ways and on the other side traditional and conventional ways. No option is cooler or much better it depends on our own preference and perspective. Here is mine: 

    When it comes to family I am not very vocal unless I am prompted to. The way I show it is through obedience and how I cancel things to find time for them even a final exam, I am willing to if they wanted me. When it comes to a special someone I commonly show it through gifts, it was a psychological action embedded during childhood. My parents are both working class and the way they show that they still care is through "pasalubong", sometimes it's not enough but later on in my pre-teen years I realized the responsibility that parents bear that's why I don't ask them for time too much by then. My extended family has been a well for that time (Most people don't want an extended family but these are some of the pros especially when a couple are both in the working class.).

    Someone told me it is not normal to show feelings through gifts that's why I'm often misunderstood. But aside from that there is a much prominent thing it is giving time in the moment when they needed it, and of course not all situations it is a given limitation for humans.  It may not be as sweet as a cake or a bar of chocolate but I always try to be at my special someones' tough times. It does not bother me if I am not able to attend at her glorious moment but to be at her trying times I am more than willing to. But I am no master fortune teller none of us were, if we always know that's too creepy I think. She has to tell me, show me or see for myself, and in moments when I just feel somethings not right I always go and ask. When it comes to communication weekly or monthly is my preference. I respect working space as well as personal space, to know that she's okay for the past week is enough for me, but if she asks more time I am willing to give that, sometimes I am being indirect and ask a co-worker or friend about her situation at a much frequent basis, sometimes a friend knows better than a lover and spills the beans much easier than directly asking. When I say sweet words I hope she cherishes it, I seriously mean it. I don't frequently tell a "banat" but I enjoy sharing some occasionally to her. Also I don't usually ask, "pwede bang manligaw?" to the girl, probably to her parents I would ask that. I find it not as a courtesy to a girl but I see it as checking chances and I am uncomfortable with it.  I believe that love is blind, it's never easy to see the perfect fit.

     Well there is more to me than that, and those things I just mentioned might change in a matter of time let this blog be the time capsule, the memo and the diary of my late October 2015 thoughts. As Ramon Bautista would have said it, "There is more to life than love." It is true but if I add a bit of my perspective on that I would say it is more like, "There is more to love as you go on with life." I believe that love blooms more meaning as you go through the maze of life. 

    How do you see it? How do you show it? I also want to know. Looking at my clock it's already 1:06 am October 28, 2015 what a coincidence, Happy I Love You day to you readers. (BTW: I did not write this straight starting October 26, 2015 I got sleepy that time and continued on the evening of the 27th.)